Tuesday, September 20, 2005
it's finally over..miss long devotions, miss tamar, miss sleeping...!!
over yet i dont feel THAT good..maybe i've prefer to be on task, maybe i'm too lazy to think of something to let myself enjoy..and i suddenly feel empty..hahaz
realize that exams can be very nervous very exciting and very boring..esp during boring papaers like accounts!! everywhere's quiet and no one to talk to..nothing to look at...nothing to laugh at..just falling asleep.but i kind of enjoy exam times..esp when i find the papers easy..but apparently its not the same for prelims.but God has been gracious. :p
kind of dread going for practice for chapel tmr..maybe becoz of the people am gonna work with,maybe helpless about what im suppose to do..maybe just dont feel like doing it..and i used to think 'i cant sing for nuts!what on earth am i doing in this proverbs band..being the support singer!?' but well,it kind of dawn upon me in the morning that hey! leading worship is not about whether you can sing right?! as if human can really sing to a standard that meet God's.but well,God's love and acceptance is unconditional..so just go for it yeah?maybe will have surprises! :p
arghhhh!!i feel like a coward..i've been wanting to tell my parents about church camp dates and about postponing the return trip to hometown last last sat..n i haven splurt out a single letter about it yet! probably afraid of the usual conflicts..or maybe afraid of rejection, or am just not having enough faith? hmmm....
i miss tamar!realized that all the shepherding sessions mean so much to me..realized that the assurance of her readiness to help is so reassuring..realized that i have not been keeping in touch with her! have always wanted to send something over to her..but..financial's tight..i'm a little LOC..and just have no idea at all what to do..hahaz ok will probably do it next week.
i've been crapping..wanna stop but just dont feel like coz after i stop,what am i gonna do?i didnt plan..n i have no idea what i wanna do to give myself a treat..maybe just a llloooonnnggg sweet time with Dad and a lllooonnnggg sleep till 845 to go n meet the proverbs ppl...
and through the storms
YET i will praise you
despite it all
YET i will sing...always got reminded of what ps jeff said about sing 'yet' louder..coz like yeah things are difficult..YET i will praise Him.. same like instead of dying..we praise God during exams..
n lausanne has been signing in for the past 15 minutes her nick about some lies keep appearing..haha opps..
ha n shuyi's talking to me now..oh! almost forgot that shes my spiritual buddy..and i really love her!! she's just so unique,just so herself..so humble..and just so approachable..you get excited when you see her you know..trust me..haz. yah she has been a great confidant and a great person to share my long winded and emotional testimonies with..she always listens hard and respond sincerely.really appreciate her..
God!!! i miss you....maybe am not suppose to...coz i should be walking real close to you all the time..but well..i really do.
Soared at 9/20/2005 10:40:00 PM