Tuesday, April 25, 2006
yay! i nearly kept my promise..i didnt blog yesterday but here i am today!hehe.

today i heard about a death, a young life,n my heart sank, i felt pain...i wondered how much it hurt the family,friends and God..i wondered how much did God tear over this life, His beloved.n many times,people blame God,they ask God "why!" and then stubbornly cover their ears and refuse to get an answer from God..we are so blinded,by the world,by how deceitful our hearts are, we always fail to see the bigger picture..the greater love,the unconditional grace...
go to this and click on "love"..then u'll know what i mean..:)

http://www.donghaeng.net/english/main.htm

school without meizhen seems natural yet wierd..haha..no insults no criticism no complaints yet as much laughter...haha

went to serene to meet the LCM!(currently named the laughing club meeting) n it was enjoyable,once again! we talked about job,about tests..abt liping leaving church because of bgr/ggr (!!) ...n we talked about how we always blame God abt anything and everything.so tnankful that i've spent my only free afternoon well :)

went to 6th ave to meet shiyou after that..at that ice cream place..call...i cant remember..n the strawberry drink taste nice! n its a nice place to study..just that the cheapest food is curry puff which costs $2.50..haha not my kind of place..but anyway..i had a great time..i felt so strengthened and refreshed after talking to shiyou..and listening to her talk about her school frens, her anonymous notes and how God uses her to bless her class..i miss those times in st margs..nowadays its so different..there's no God element in the school,just tests..lectures..hmwk..matches..and maybe affections here and there..theres not many people that i can share my thoughts with,like those really deep and profound thoughts..haha..n im really dying to be one of those who stands out from the rest of my classmates..who has God evident in my life..and who has joy in me in all circumstances.everytime i thought that im not doing enough,God never fail to assure me that im the way i am for a reason,n he will work through me just the way i am.thankew God!

am currently reading this book called'authentic beauty' that jamie lent me..the only book that i can read up to 30 minutes without falling asleep!hehe its talks about how we girls desire to be loved and valued,n how we feel good being sought after..n how deep down inside us we long for a knight in shining armor that would consider us the most desired girl...........and how this dream begins to fade when we turn our eyes into the world....
we're taught to keep our purity,n give the best to our future husband..the best one that God has planned for us.yet many times when we look into the world,all those seemingly good times teenage couples enjoy..we feel lonely and empty..and sometimes we cant help but desire for such human love as well.i donnoe about all of you...but i do..i do like to be valued and feel that im special to this certain one..and at times i start to question..n ask if im missing out something? and god told me:they are the ones missing out something that u have in your life. :)

yea..i do feel good when ppl flatter me..n i know so clearly deep down inside me that i've got to guard my heart..though thankfully in my life i have no experiences of being liked or being chased after..haha..but i know clearly what's the thing that will destroy me..that is my deceitful heart..many times i try to push the limit..i try to justify..n i try to give my bare minimum..n be careless with things coming on my way..no doubt it feels good...but i know i can never sit on both fences..i have to and i want to choose to stand on God's side.

so God,please help me in all those temptations coming my way,i want to keep my eyes and my heart pure..that i live a life thats pleasing to you.i wanna be the special one whom u would use to bring your children back to your embrace..n find the true prince in their lived..jesus christ..the one who can satisfy all our emptiness and desire for true love.amen.

struggling with the same thing as me? hehe listen to this song!

http://www.ericandleslie.com/assets/audio/Eric%20and%20Leslie%20Ludy%20-%20Faithfully.mp3

lyrics here!

Faithfully
By Eric and Leslie Ludy

Tonight I saw a shooting star
Made me wonder where you are
For years I have been dreaming of you
And I wonder if you're thinking of me too
In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance
They say that I'm a fool to wait for something more
How can I really love someone I've never seen before

But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived
And I know real love is all about learning how to give
So I pray that God will bring you to me
And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

CHORUS
Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
'Cause this kind of love's worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours

Tonight I saw two lovers kiss
Reminded me of my own lonliness
They say that I'm a fool to keep on praying for you
How's can I give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true

But I will keep believing that God still has a plan
And though I cannot see you now, I know that He can
And someday I will give you all of me
Until I find you, I'll be waiting faithfully

this is for you..my future loved one :)

Soared at 4/25/2006 07:46:00 PM