let me soar.

Proverbs 31:29
"many women do noble things,
but you,winnie,surpass them all."
-this,i'm living for.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

ONE

there was this sudden emphasis on this word today during worship..

one... A single person or thing; a unit, means no other, just ONE..irreplacable,incomparable, stands alone.

thats what i want God to be in my life..THE ONE.

ahh i just started typing and im feeling tired..its not good to take a nap at night..its not gonna help to refresh you neither does it make u feel better,it make oe feel more frustrated. argh.

last night i had a talk with my dear xiao mei and her friend. my sis was pretty upset over what my mum said and how she put across things.. so she started weeping and weeping..and i tried to guess why was she crying..u feel misunderstood? u feel that everyone's picking on you? you feel u're being scolded too much? and she said

im thinking why God put me on this earth.

my heart melted with sorrow..i was speechless.i've neglected such feelings for so long, i didnt realize shes growing up and is starting to question..question about existence, about her purpose in life and start to blame God why He was so free and had nothing to do that He put ppl on earth to suffer.

she asked us if we could choose,what wld i choose to be. while i answered human being..she said she wanted to be a non-living thing. i think the wound is pretty deep.she tried again and again to prove mum wrong that she can be better,she tried again and again to reconcile the relationship, n she tried again and again to find her belonging in this family. yet again and again she was hurt,she was being denied of her value,and slowly, she began to shut herself up..in bitterness,and sorrow and in self-pity.

i felt so sinful.through-out this process of being hurt, i've done few things to help soothe that wound.n now it has stopped bleeding,but burning with fury,and begining to be numb about things.

i know God is slowly involving me into her life, which i will give my best to.await for my testimonies in our relationship yah? its gonna be the first step to family salvation.i cant wait.

i wonder if the question of existence and purpose pop up in everyone's mind? im so glad and thankful that i've found my purpose.what about u? do u find no meaning in life?u dont understand why things turn out the way they do?oh well, when u turn ur eyes to God, everything becomes logical.

ahah i dont feel like blogging anymore..im tired n need time alone. n i need to sleep! ulm tmr..i need an expectant heart. :)

Soared at 6/18/2006 01:00:00 AM

winnie cheng azaniah=)
280488
onionzheng@hotmail.com

yo guys!my promise to you:
1.i promise to make your growth my goal, and relate to you with sincerity and purity.
2.i promise to build close friendships with a group of you and not make any exclusive.
3.i promise to not be emotionally dependent on you but be honest and open in sharing with you about my life.
4.i promise to not feel jealous that you are closer to other girls than to me,and i will not try to intentionally make myself special to you/
make you like me despite my desire to feel valued and special to someone.
5.i promise to put God in the center of our friendship,i will not try to leave you a good impression of me by holding back from speaking up when i see your life off track.
i want you to love God more not love me more.
6.i promise to not give any misleading signs(though i'm not really capable of giving=p).
7.i promise to humbly receive help when you are being the gentleman God has called you to be, but also to be responsible to carry my own load and not take advantage in any way.
8.i promise to be a life-long learner so that conversations with me may add value to you in any small little ways possible.
9.i promise to not flirt with you in any way(if im ever capable to),whether is it laughing at unfunny jokes,or paying special attention to you making you think that i like you.
10.lastly, i promise to not expect you to be exactly like pastor willy, but learn to appreciate your own unique strengths=p
to my future husband:
am so excited to meet you!
serve God together with you and living out the love story God wrote for exclusively the both of us.
but before this i really want to give the best of myself to God and His kingdom,
realizing the dreams that He has put into my heart
and to be moulded to become who He promised He'll make me to be.
i know you too will be excited to meet a winnie that God smiles at wide wide
i promise to keep developing myself,so that i'll present to you nothing but the best of me when we meet
so for now,i put this aside and continue sprinting in this race
and keep learning to unveil the beauty God has called me to unveil
till then,
see you.
=)

credits for the layout
(c) 2006 EMILY.