Thursday, September 28, 2006
l slept through lunch just now..i slept as if i was dead..nothing could wake me up.but its great to be able to sleep without having to set the irritating alarm!
i think my house is safer than the bank.i need to open FOUR locks in order to enter the severely guarded house.i was thinking what if one day i tired until i drop dead while opening the locks? haa if you suddenly got alot alot of money donnoe where to put, can consider my house..no one will be patient enough to open those locks to still ur money.
had maths today, could do around 80 percent of the paper, but not very confident of the answers, i like create my own formula and my own methods.haha. history yesterday..oh well, i think will do quite badly, i wrote my own history..i really take ownership of my subjects eh..=)
today after maths am suppose to think about something that puzzled me alot..hmm like what is giving my best? i really refuse to believe that serving God will lose out to others in studies, which is total crap.but sometimes i really really dont think i've given my ultimate best in every subject, but do i expect myself to get full marks for everything then i will feel i give my best? but giving my best shouldnt be a feeling, right? i guess is like studying in a way that pleases God.yes, it finally came to me.
work as if all the work depends on me
pray as if my whole life depends on them.
so am gonna move on, apply this for econs and chinese, and am gonna do better.
above all, let your will be done through me=)
the night before gp was a heart stirring night. never had such a time that i couldnt sleep, not because of anxiety or excitement, but because of the magic word LOVE.
it was like a whole new revelation, a new perspective.
life is ALL about love, if not everything becomes meaningless.in death beds, no one will call for his awards, his medals, his certs and all those achievements. he wants to spend the remaining time with people he love.
if my life is just an end to its own, i just live for myself and live to achieve this and that. i can be serving God, but am not loving people, i can just go to heaven right away.why dont we fly to heaven once we receive the salvation?
because God wants us to reach out to others.and use our lives to love His people.
so many times, studies becomes more important than people. so many times,achieving goals came before love. we used people to love things and not use things to love people.we go for serving for our own sake, serve God for our own sake, fellowship for our own sake, and forget that the church exists for people. for people who are still lost in their way.
if am so busy over ministry, over many many agendas to fulfil that i have no time for people, i wonder who am i really serving.
the best expression of love is time.
how i spend my life will show who i love, what i love.i dont want love to become a part of my life, i want love to be my life.my ultimate aim. really, i dont have much to offer, only the good news and my love.
oh my oh so deceiving heart, will you soften urself right now and start looking at the most important thing to life. so what if am busy with many agendas and have not love? they are really worthless.
to my friends, my sheep, my leaders my family my caregroup my unit. i give you the covenant of my love.if i ever fall into doing things and forget to love, please remind me.you deserve so much more love.i can give so much more love.
and if i ever used you to love things....please forgive me.
haa love of people always fail,sometimes i wonder how can daddy's love never ever fail.you know every single thing about me and are still passionately pursuing me.i wonder why can ur love go so far. yeah ur love, so illogical, so crazy.
thats why you are God and i am not.
thank God.=)
haa and i suddenly got reminded of something! the day before my history paper i went to ting's house to study...and her house blackout twice!! the second time the light never ever came back. then i saw such big contrast between her two sisters. the second one was busy putting on make-up using the torchlight while ting was runnung around the house to pluck the sockets, to check everything. haha and the funniest thing is after her er jie left the house for like pretty long, she came all the way back to the house to ask xuan ning if her shoe is okay!!!!
haa so we ended up playing cannot-see-hide-and-seek!!this is the term according to xuan ning. yeah we played catching in the dark. the fun was out of the world. haha. i forgot about history, forgot about finance problems, it was fun. =)
i wonder why did God planned things to be this way..it comes so amazingly timely and comforting to the soul.make me realize exams is not all about scoring well,it's about using every exam to learn new perspectives and grow in new areas, so that next exam i can do better.
after all what is more important? is scoring really really well that important at the end of the day? whats the point of toiling hard on our own,score all As but take a step back in our walk with God or remaining stagnant in our growth?
oh so anyway xuanting's older sister..she came home later and ning ning was telling her about our cannot-see-hide-and-seek, and she was like I ALSO WANT TO PLAY! shes 20 plus le i guess. haha the heart is always young.=)
i cant wait for exmas to end..cant wait to bake with mila,cant wait to catch up with people......................cant wait to grow.
without you, i think i will die.
Soared at 9/28/2006 05:32:00 PM
