Sunday, November 19, 2006
after so long, i've decided to be more faithful with my blog=)

the past weeks were very happening! both in my own spiritual life and things around me. learnt so much and realized so much.

remember i mentioned about winnie's retreat?
it was great.
i confessed my sins
one by one..
those that are constantly in my life, those i secretly cling on to, and those that i wasnt even aware of until God showed me.

it was a release..
and experiencing that unconditional grace once again..

the mario game is getting on fine!
the beginner is killing more turtles and eating more flowers and growing bigger..
yes she still dies, but she gets up strong and victorious..
because she has decided to take her hand off the keyboard, and let the pro play on her behalf instead.
she now knows the game is not her own..
its not a single player game
its a partnership, two players, with the pro leading the way.
mario is smiling happily like the happiest boy in earth.=)

today dad told me into my ears thats he's been there, he never left, and he will always be with me.
something that i always knew yet sometimes doubt about.
learning about the traps of leadership was such a cruel truth.
its like a lesson just for winnie..
when the points say
winnie stops growing,
winnie becomes insensitive
winnie is distracted
winnie stops caring...
and blah blah blah.
my gosh i feel wierd to keep typing my own name.haa

it hit me real hard.
n i've written it down to paste beside my bed.
every night before i sleep i shall evaluate through if i've fallen into any of them.=)

now im pretty thankful for those tough periods i've gone through for the past weeks.
i discovered my weakest links in my own life,
haha surprisingly has got nothing to do with the opposite gender,
which im very glad..
but its like pride and yet self condemning..
so contradicting man..
aiyoh contradicting winnie..
and these two things will keep coming
though i've overcome before,
the next time it'll come in a different dimension,
and hopefully a higher level of struggle
cause it'll mean i've grown by then,
and satan will have to use stronger weapons on me=)

on sat i realized daddy is actually working things around me
even at the lowest point of my life
yet i failed to see all those..i only grew bitter and frustrated.
how silly.

i'm gonna start study tmr..
and be a dilligent and faithful winnie
but i realized i haven even finished watching gong..
the tv is already ahead of me..
slow pok.

last week was happening! an i cant wait for this week to come!!
the many things that we're gonna do together..
but today i just got to know about something...
something that i think i'll need some time to let go..
but oh well! bloom where we're planted=)

im flee-ing away quite well
it feels good to be away from that
maybe because its not coming after me as well
haha everytime when im tempted to turn back to stop flee-ing
i always literally punch myself and psycho myself to think about central a
think about matthew party
think about sweater
think about the lost
think about 1k.

haha its indeed better to think about those=)

i've been taking long bus trips alone
surprisingly not falling asleep
i thought about many things in the past..
like how God brought me through
laugh at myself for those silly mistakes
smile as i eventually see the whole picture
and understanding why did He put all those in my life.
=)

i feel so loved
i feel the grace lavished on me..
i feel so protected
i feel so safe
i feel so at ease
i feel so confident
even admist the storm=)

was talking to angelina the other day
and its so interesting to find out that here in singapore,
everyone has many responsibilities and considerations to make before making any decision
like when i decide not to go to school
this decision on its own will not just affect myself.
thats why we always see that after exams when everyone pons every lesson
people will surely turn up for project work no matter how tired they are
not that they are so in loved with project work,
but their absence wont just affect themselves..
haa okay its just a realization..and she says that over there is australia is different.

haha though sometimes i do dread the sense of responsibility
but i've come to realize responsilities are honourable, and when we handle them with the right person,
things will be okay=)

okay this is a long and messy post.
oh well=)

[and surely i will be with you always,till the very end of the age]

i could only say, you are awesomne.

Soared at 11/19/2006 12:03:00 AM