Thursday, April 12, 2007
i realized im no longer as transparent about my life as compared to last time..
it used to be so easy to reveal my weaknesses, insecurity, fears, and all those not so nice things about myself..
perhaps now i've learnt not to take my weaknesses so seriously,
but accept them and keep growing from it.
in the weakest link in my life,
i keep falling into the same trap,
always fighting against same old temptations,
till i know it so well,
its coming and its going,
predicting my own reaction towards things,
and taking note of how i eventually respond.

or perhaps, im becoming more afraid of the world,
and how views of the world can affect me.
its hard to differentiate if my worries come from being other-centred of self centred.
grant me a sound mind.

its always great discovering how God has knitted me to be.=)

God has been assuring me of the direction im heading,
though sometimes it may seem different from everyone else,
and its hard to always believe in it strongly when ideas are exchanged
and interactions are made,
sometimes it made me feel more different,
even knowing that my conviction comes from a heart that simply wants to serve Him.
and i've learnt
that things when done out of a pure heart,
it comes in different dimensions and methods,
though humanly, sometimes one seems more powerful than the other,
both please the master equally.

just like someone who's called to be a pastor, and the other just a simple cleaner,
when heart desires are the same,
though to the world, the pastor would be making more impact
in the eyes of the loving one above,
both are equally beautiful.

learning to take delight in being a cleaner.

have been thinking about certain people throughout the week,
concerned and maybe a little worried..
keep wondering hows everything..
yet i dont see myself doing much about such thoughts..
dont wanna keep holding on to the string when the kite's supposed to fly on its own,
yet, humanly, a part of me still longs to keep them in their comfort,
knowing whats outside maybe not exactly be very easy for them.
and knowing also, they will make them stronger.

to the beloved people on my mind,
keeping u in prayers.stay on the road to His heart.

caught the hope peru missions team on channel u, xi you ji.
i've seen them on videos before, heard them before.
each time leaving a different impact in me.
courageously pursuing those desires put in them by God,
and going into the world, making small impacts along the way..
not wealthy, not famous, but a joy that comes from being faithful.
i guess thats what i wanna be.

haven been catching up with friends,
whom i know are important in my life..
i've got to slow down from being caught up by to do lists..
bless others and myself be refreshed.

[its a long long journey, and i need to be close to you]

Soared at 4/12/2007 09:15:00 PM