let me soar.

Proverbs 31:29
"many women do noble things,
but you,winnie,surpass them all."
-this,i'm living for.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

feeling.....

hai..

woke up overwhelmed by emotions..

bad bad feelings...=(

uncertain

disheartened

frustration

basically in agony...

and so...another complain letter to the guy above..

"God where are you?

are you in my heart?

are you in my mind?

are you in my soul?

if you're in my heart,

can you feel my heart weighed down my many many things?

if you're in my mind,

do you see the fierce battle fighting away those negative thoughts?

if you're in my soul,

do you feel my irrtation, the helplessness i feel towards the people you love alot alot?

i wonder if you feel angry with me,

everytime i doubt and feel discouraged,

i wonder if you feel the same towards me everytime i get fed up about the indifferent attitude of people?

God sometimes i really feel that if people dont bother about their lives,

then why should i bother...

haha but if i feel this way towards everyone,

haha maybe i'll end up serving you as a toilet cleaner,

just be responsible for toilets and not people.

...........

God..what can i do,

to get rid of those feelings?

perhaps it wont go away..

but i must not let my emotions affect people around me...

......as i sprint towards the finishing line,

let me ride on your wind,

let me focus on the line in front,

not my inabilities,

my limitations,

or my lagging behind compared to others...

am not competing against them,

am competing against myself,

i got to overcome myself.

God let my service to you and your people be out of a pure heart and a biblical motive..

i dont need them to thank me,

i dont need them to come and appreciate me

and tell me i made an impact in their lives,

but i need them to be responsible of their own lives,

to take ownership of their own response to you.

eventually when they grow big time,

i'll be there clapping and tearing the hardest,

second to you.

God, shift my focus,

i know thats the thing that will change how i feel as well.

God, you're above my emotions....."

有梦的人,没时间绝望..

go winnie go.=)

Soared at 10/27/2007 07:04:00 AM

winnie cheng azaniah=)
280488
onionzheng@hotmail.com

yo guys!my promise to you:
1.i promise to make your growth my goal, and relate to you with sincerity and purity.
2.i promise to build close friendships with a group of you and not make any exclusive.
3.i promise to not be emotionally dependent on you but be honest and open in sharing with you about my life.
4.i promise to not feel jealous that you are closer to other girls than to me,and i will not try to intentionally make myself special to you/
make you like me despite my desire to feel valued and special to someone.
5.i promise to put God in the center of our friendship,i will not try to leave you a good impression of me by holding back from speaking up when i see your life off track.
i want you to love God more not love me more.
6.i promise to not give any misleading signs(though i'm not really capable of giving=p).
7.i promise to humbly receive help when you are being the gentleman God has called you to be, but also to be responsible to carry my own load and not take advantage in any way.
8.i promise to be a life-long learner so that conversations with me may add value to you in any small little ways possible.
9.i promise to not flirt with you in any way(if im ever capable to),whether is it laughing at unfunny jokes,or paying special attention to you making you think that i like you.
10.lastly, i promise to not expect you to be exactly like pastor willy, but learn to appreciate your own unique strengths=p
to my future husband:
am so excited to meet you!
serve God together with you and living out the love story God wrote for exclusively the both of us.
but before this i really want to give the best of myself to God and His kingdom,
realizing the dreams that He has put into my heart
and to be moulded to become who He promised He'll make me to be.
i know you too will be excited to meet a winnie that God smiles at wide wide
i promise to keep developing myself,so that i'll present to you nothing but the best of me when we meet
so for now,i put this aside and continue sprinting in this race
and keep learning to unveil the beauty God has called me to unveil
till then,
see you.
=)

credits for the layout
(c) 2006 EMILY.